Raging!

I've been reading through so many posts on the internet about how "black lives matter" is a "hate group" and how atheists "hate god", neither of which is true but I can't take it anymore. I gotta blog a lil. First off, I'm speaking to all the white folks out there who thinks BLM is made up of a bunch of derelicts. Black folks, me included, are sick and tired and mad about being treated like trash. After everything my grandparents fought for, we see 60 years later that it's gotten even worse. I must admit, in my opinion, some of it is on us. We never should have gotten comfortable in this country once we got to "equal rights status". We should've kept fighting the system, full court press that motherfucker until we truly had nothing to complain about. I can also say the racists taught their kids the doctrine. They passed down the hatred, ridicule, and vitriolic pervading fear of all things black and black culture related so that many of those children of fearful men and women, today are the very voice saying black people are basically terrorists. We push your patients, we babysit your children, we clean your floors, paint your roofs, serve your food, provide your entertainment and yet you still clutch your purse when we get near, you lock your car door when we walk past, you call the police when we've done nothing wrong and "shoot to kill" when we're walking out on the street minding our business. We're fed up, and there are riots and violence because of the blatant disrespect and disregard for black lives in this country. There were riots in black cities in the 60s too. Harlem, Watts, Philadelphia, Cleveland...all this after we had achieved "equality". This is why we revolt...because it's been proven time and time again in this country that when it comes to people of color white folks "the majority" don't give a damn to help change things for the better and violence is the only way to get attention on the issues. I'm an atheist and I do not hate the god of the bible or any god. I can't because they don't exist. It's almost like me hating Spiderman, I can't cause he ain't real. I know the theist position because I've been one. I know that thought process. I understand it, so when you tell me things like that I know that you haven't even tried to understand my position as an unbeliever at all. Hopefully you'll want to hear it though. Science isn't the end-all be-all answer to everything, but it is a wonderful start to try to know what's going on around us. We don't worship science or believe in science, the science is fact/truth. I don't need to believe in it because the science has proven itself whether we believe in it or not. Science can get it wrong sometimes too but this is why we check it. We're still exploring, we're still finding new wonders to examine. I can show you with demonstrable evidence how bumblebees fly, how your toaster makes toast, how modern dolphins came to be and even how the continents shifted to their current positions. One of religion has yet to prove a global flood, a proper resurrection, or a human being able to walk on the moving currents of the ocean...we're not even gonna talk about if your holy book is real or if your holy book's deity is real. So, please don't come telling me that I don't believe in anything, or that I believe in science, or that I hate god...(even though my plea is falling onto deaf ears), I'm not even going to dignify that with a response anymore. The internet is an interesting place...i see that it can also unmask the hate and rip away the filters and layers of tolerance and common decency for our fellow men. All of this over something we believe or don't believe. Actually, now that I think about it, what am I debating all this stuff for, I could be doing so much more with that time. Oh yeah, I forgot, if I don't try to at least persuade my fellow men to think, we will be doomed to being stuck with very little scientific progress, political and legislative gobbledegook that infringes on the basic rights of all people, and most of all we'll be stuck with more people who can't think critically about any situation. We're already a nation of dum-dums, in my opinion, religion ain't helping it at all.

Ma

It's literally almost a year since my last post and a lot has happened in this year. The most important thing is that I've lost my mother. She was so influential to my life and so instrumental in teaching me how to treat others. I can thank her teachings for the success in my job, my relationships with my friends and my girlfriend, and also my outspoken criticism of most religious people's thought processes. She was a christian, mind you, and she believed the god of the bible was alive and well. I was able to tell her I was an atheist before she died and she accepted me for who I am. She was always so loving and giving, such an altruistic person and she passed that onto my brother and I. She always believed that it was god helping her to be so kind and caring but little did she know that it was all just her. She taught me how to love and what healthy love is and is not. I learn from her mistakes and implement the triumphant successes she taught us as much as possible. I'm definitely going to miss her, but I can't really miss her much. She's always in my figurative heart. :-) It's been that way since I moved out of the house. I keep her on my mind and in my heart so I don't miss her too much. I know I'll never see her again but I'm ok with that. She isn't suffering and stressing anymore so I'm ok with that. She always spoke so surely about heaven. For her sake, I hope she was right. I hope she's in the mansion she dreamed of with the streets paved with gold. As for me, when I die, if that's so, god's got a lot to answer for before I fry. Just saying. Goodbye ma. We miss you. Yes, my room is clean, I'm eating good, and pooping regularly. No need to worry about me. Just hope you're ok.

Catching Up

I've gone on a wonderful journey these last couple of years. I had an interesting (horrific) relationship that I was wonderfully happy to be fired from. I then spent the last year and a half "finding myself" (mostly living like a monk, the "no sex" included) and going through all kinds of random adventures and misadventures with work, home life, family, and school.... I've publicly claimed my atheism also. It's literally the biggest thing that has happened in my life. It's affected every other aspect of it too. Fighting against the norm, for once in my life, has transformed me into the stand--up guy/fighter that I always kinda was (in my mind). Basically gave me a reason to speak up and voice what's on my mind. I'd always have opinions, I'd just hardly ever voice them. Letting go of God (so to speak) has allowed me to embrace life for what it is, life!! I enjoy each day a little more knowing that this is all we get. I love a little harder and pay closer attention just because I dig life. Of course there's tons of opposition to my position but I've been learning how to deal with all of that properly...by conveying my views and respecting other folks views as well. It's been quite a lot to deal with but all-in-all, I'm a happier person today than I was a couple of years ago. I always wanted to be a different person, now I am. I"m not the radically different guy I thought I'd change into but rather the different, ever evolving version of myself. Now listening to: Places and Spaces by Donald Byrd (song is wonderful and the LP is too)!

"Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!" ~Bronchitis lady

I've been avoiding writing a post for weeks now, just because I know there's a hell of a lot to catch up on. Right now, (See title). Currently, I'm listening to an old favorite while I write this, Aruarian Dance by Nujabes. Just a lil something to help me focus on this while I listen to my co-worker ramble on about government conspiracies and hear the sound of trash bags rustling as it gets changed by the EVS employee. I always have so much to think about and so much to do it seems. I'm trying not to think about buying Christmas presents right now or how much I wish I was with my girlfriend...yes, I too, have a girlfriend. Sorry ladies but she is wonderful and I'm taken! Step off! (Not that I have a gaggle of fan girls trying to get with me as they anxiously await my blog posts...) I am just sitting here writing rambles right now. The most significant change since the last time I wrote is that I have officially come out....(wait for it) as an atheist. Just saying it out loud has helped me be so much more comfortable in my own skin. I feel remarkable (most days, cause sometimes you have crappy ones...everyone does) when I wake up every afternoon and know that I love me and I am the sole keeper of my destiny. There's a lot that goes with that especially growing up a black man in America originally from central Alabama where Jesus and the Crimson Tide are the most important conversation topics. I'm glad to have found a black woman who is open minded enough NOT to condemn me to hell every time she sees me (or at least give me that one stare that every woman does when they're uncomfortable around you...I used to get that one a lot). I love that about her and her too of course. Maybe I'll write a post focusing on that one day. My life is truly unfolding. My life is truly getting so much better. I am really FINALLY starting to enjoy my life! But like I said before, to explain it all...(See title)

Dream

Ever had a dream of someone you hadn't spoken to on years?! That mess is weird! It compels me to reestablish contact though. Then you think.....does this person remember me? Does she know or care that I remember her? Is this extra random?
All questions I ask....

One O' Dem Days....

This is one of those mornings where I haven’t been to sleep, cause I’m just up thinking…about that one person that brings me joy. The one on the top of my list, at the front of my brain, in the center of the stage.





Oh, the content from here and on my tumblr page is nearly the same?! Pshh see how much I care now..... :-p

And it ain’t bad….I just can’t sleep cause I’m so excited and anxious and curious….

Sharing is Caring

I look back and realize, I've always been a very creative person but I would hardly admit it to myself. I surely wouldn't let anyone else find out! Lol I was writing and singing wayyy back in elementary school to no one but myself...and it satisfied my soul...

I suppose I can share it now...I know I'm willing to....